Low libido doesn't always equate to low interest in sex. These are actually two different things. One may want to have sex but is unable to get in the mood just as one may not have any issue becoming physically aroused but has a difficult time wanting sex. Check out these simple shifts that can help with both issues!
It goes without saying that ones mood can positively or negatively effect ones libido and the desire to have sex. Several things come into play in regards to enhancing or upsetting ones mood and libido for both men and women. I am sure you have noticed you and your partner aren't always on the same wave and that's okay. It's important to understand that men and women require different things to get them in the mood.
Time of Day
Testosterone levels peak in the morning leaving men ready and in the mood. Have you noticed your partner is more passionate early in the morning before the day starts? If so, hone in on this and take advantage. I know you are a busy woman and having sex before work may seem like one more thing to do before you rush out of the house but I promise you, it's worth it to fit it in.
That being said, desire and testosterone aren't the only things that matter. Women release the hormone of love and bonding (oxytocin) when they feel particularly close with their lover. Oxytocin helps get women in the mood and primes her body for fertilization. Oxytocin is also responsible for helping the mother baby bond after delivery. To stimulate oxytocin production ensure you make time to feel close with your partner. Cuddling, nice gestures, compliments, and being present in the moment are all ways a man can help a woman feel close, safe, and more connected. Of course this is a two way street but it particularly applies to women.
We live in a time of high stress, go go go. Anger, frustration, annoyance, and sadness all effect your overall mood and therefor, effect your libido. Of course, couples facing fertility struggles face these emotions with the added pressure of having sex for the sake of conceiving. Added stress can lower the levels of both testosterone and oxytocin which is precisely what we don't want. It's important to take time to really connect with your lover without placing additional pressure on one another to have sex only around ovulation or for the sake of conceiving. Have date nights, get couples massages, make a delicious meal together that includes mood enhancing foods. I have included a list of foods that help increase the happy hormones to help naturally boost your desire to have sex and enhance your overall mood.
All this talk about sex and we haven't talked about one very important thing- How often should you have sex??? Many couples are not having enough sex to actually get pregnant. Men create sperm every single day so it is not necessary to save up his sperm for the ovulation window. In fact, new sperm is much more active and vigorous and has a better chance of making it to the released egg as opposed to "stale sperm" that has been sitting. That doesn't mean you have to have sex every day (unless you want to). On average, having sex three times a week is enough. Sperm lives for 3-5 days once inside of a woman and the released egg lives about 24 hours as it travels through the fallopian tube, which leaves plenty of time for the two to meet. A woman's fertile window may vary from moth to month but generally, the woman is most fertile five days before ovulation and the day of ovulation. Having sex during this time greatly increases your chance of conceiving but that doesn't mean you have to have sex every day during this time.
Foods that get you in the Mood
Chicken, turkey, lean red meats; cod, shellfish, pike, and tuna; eggs and whole dairy products; avocados and bananas; and oats are all foods that are rich in the amino acid tyrosine. The body utilizes tyrosine when in the presence of key nutrients such as vitamins B3, B6 and C to make Dopamine. Dopamine helps us feel good and is present in high levels during sexual excitement.
Chicken, lamb, and turkey; cod, halibut, salmon, sardines and tuna; asparagus, leafy green vegetables, potatoes, seeds; and yogurt are all rich in tryptophan which the body utilizes to make Serotonin. Serotonin enhances your mood.
Dark Chocolate (yes! Chocolate!) is a good source of Phenylethylamine. Phenylethylamine is the chemical responsible for giving you that euphoric feeling of butterflies when in love. It's great for enhancing desire and excitement in the bedroom.
As you can see, it can be quite simple to incorporate these foods into your weekly diet. Your life is hectic enough, let's keep things simple when we can!
Cannabis and Sex
Cannabis has been said to improve sexual desire and ability since the early 1970s. Honestly, I am positive it was being utilized in this capacity long before then though.
Women have reported positive effects on sexual desire, satisfaction, and orgasms with moderate cannabis use. Low doses of cannabinoids have been shown to enhance sexual response by activating CB1, whereas higher doses may impair that response by activating TRPV1. An ideal dose ranges from 1 to 4mg of THC along with the accompanying terpenes. Oral, vape, and topicals are all methods of ingesting for enhanced pleasure.